Swearing

Last week was caring this week... swearing

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Another post about my love of words… this time swear words or ‘bad language’, deemed in my Shorter Oxford as ‘coarse or vulgar expressions’. This definition has made me smile as I absolutely love swear words and so I can only assume I am a coarse and vulgar person. I care not.

These are my beloved dictionaries, on a little shelf by my desk

Oh how I love these volumes. The big fat Shorter Oxfords in particular, yes it’s easier to look up words on the dictionary app on my phone but the paper in these heavy books is oh so thin and smooth, not quite tissue, almost biblical, I don’t mean holy but like the quality of paper in a bible. They’re so delicate and I love thumbing through the flimsy pages for word definitions as you can come across interesting words you weren’t looking for and can waste hours.

The slang dictionary pictured has given me endless joy. Flicking through it is one of my favourite things to do; it just makes me laugh to see swear words followed by a definition presented so formally. The sheer number of words we have for the male member, for the vagina and for breasts; some of the words make me laugh out loud, usually the Australian versions.

I have wasted hours looking on YouTube for a ye olde Jasper Carrot sketch where he listed at great speed the slang we have for genitalia, sadly I couldn’t find it, but I remember the volume of words he used was astonishing. I’ve done a quick count in my Slang dictionary and there are listed 48 words for penis, 17 words for female genitals, 14 words for breasts and 11 for testicles. I think swear words can often be so much better that the straight version, simply more descriptive. As I read this back I’m not sure what this says about me…rude possibly. I’m not.

A Simple Thing

I am hoping that this regular feature of a simple thing will evolve in to something meaningful…not sure it will. Last week was new socks and this week… well, a simple cup of tea. Specifically, the first cuppa of the day. Ideally for me, this is a steaming mug brought to me, by the man I love, shortly after waking, me having propped myself up on a big fat pillow. A kiss from him and I then I greet the cup with ‘Hello tea’ and take my first sip. I drink the hot nectar, at my leisure, alone in bed just looking at my surroundings and at the weather outside my bedroom windows. No phone, or book… heaven.

Boy am I glad I didn’t go down the big long list route of ‘simple things’, as I’ve struggled this week. I came up with the above but it didn’t seem worthy, however here it is. You may well have thought that last week’s ‘new socks’ was ever so slightly crap. To be honest if I’m scratching around for ideas next week I may make it an occasional feature. I certainly don’t want this to be a that’ll do, something (anything) scenario. Let me know what you think.

If you have got this far, thanks for reading and if you liked it in any way clicking on the heart will gladden my actual heart. Thanks again.